Bad days are just inevitable. As much as we all like to preach that "only you can control your mood" and "life is all about how you react to the things that happen," sometimes you're just going to have a bummer of a day. Of course it's good to stay positive and grateful, but nobody's perfect, and when things aren't going your way, it can sometimes feel impossible to put on a happy face. If you're anything like me, half of your bad days are completely justified, and the other half pop out of thin air and you have absolutely no explanation for why you're so crabby you suddenly want to rip someone's head off just because they are chewing too loudly.
I am having one of the latter the past 24 hours. For some reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday, and have since been mustering up all the energy I can not to be a complete ball of unhappiness. I do think I'm doing a better job today than I was yesterday, but I'm still finding myself disproportionately irritated by every little thing that isn't going my way. If you've had this experience, you also know that the bad moodiness is only exacerbated by the fact that you feel so guilty for being crabby when you have no reason to.
I came on here with the intent of writing a rant about some gripes I have with the media that have been particularly frustrating me. I probably still will write this post, but perhaps when I am in a bit of a more rational mindset and can write cohesive and critical thoughts. But I realized that I hadn't done a lifestyle post in a while, and also remembered that when I am having a bad day the last thing I want to do is read about more problems, instead I seek out encouragement that things will get better. So I decided that instead I would write about some of my tried-and-true ideas for feeling better when you just need a little boost.
I want to preface that I don't for one second think all of these suggestions will work for everyone; in fact on some days doing some of these things are instant mood-boosters for me and on others the same strategy sounds like the most miserable thing on earth. I hate those supposed "self-help" suggestions that really just make you feel bad about yourself because going for an hour-long run sounds much less stress-relieving than watching "Friends" for the 1000th time. And if I'm being 100% honest, there are times when I don't even want to try to make myself feel better. I just want to sit and sulk and throw a pity party for myself, even though I know that I am a very privileged person, and that I have a lot to be grateful for. And that's okay too! Feeling sorry for yourself for a few hours does not make you a bad or ungrateful person, and sometimes that is what you need in order to be able to wake up tomorrow and start over. So if any of these work for you, great, but if not, don't feel hopeless! You're not broken just because you and I don't de-stress in the same ways. No matter what, the most important thing is to know that it truly is okay to have a bad day, and that you deserve to feel better.
1) Get Outside and Get Out of Your Head
I spend the majority of each day sitting at my desk working on the computer. Sure, there's the occasional class to teach or podcast to record, but each of these require many hours of preparation and follow-up work. So, I am undoubtedly prone to going a little stir crazy. Going for walks has become a daily source of joy for me, a way to break free from the confines of my little room and remind myself that there is a bigger world out there. I tend to enjoy the peace and quiet of the outdoors, but I also find my mind wandering often. On days when I'm feeling down, my mind should definitely not be allowed to wander! Ashley recently made fun of me that I never listen to music or podcasts while I'm walking, and to be honest I'd never really thought about it before. I'm not encouraging giving into peer pressure, but a few days later I was particularly stressed and didn't want to be making lists in my head of all the things I needed to worry about the whole time I was walking, so I decided to try bringing an inspirational podcast along. And let me tell you, it was amazing! I kind of hate to say that because I often get frustrated with our society's seemingly constant need to have buds in our ears or phones in our hands, and I believe in enjoying the outdoors electronics-free, , but I also think there is immense value in being able to clear one's head. For people like me who can't quiet their mind on their own, having twenty or thirty minutes of something to distract your mind is necessary. Sometimes I listen to inspirational podcasts, but sometimes I just listen to something that I know will make me laugh (spoiler alert: you can find both on our podcast, It's A Twin Thing!). I recommend listening to podcasts you know you like, because I've found that some "inspirational" podcasts feel a lot more like lists of all the things I'm doing wrong. You could also listen to your favorite music, I don't because most of my playlist is showtunes and that just makes me sad because I miss being onstage :) Either way, for me getting out of the house and away from my thoughts can seriously help me to feel calmer and more refreshed.
2) Take A Productive Break
Wait, don't let my oxymoron scare you away! Yes, I know that breaks are supposed to be the opposite of productive. But for Type A workaholics like me, doing nothing is sometimes the opposite of relaxing, it's torturous. That's not to say I don't enjoy the occasional TV marathon or trip down the Pinterest rabbit hole, I most certainly do, but when I'm already irritated trying to do something mindless usually ends up with me spending the whole time thinking about all the better things I could be doing until I am so fed up that I have to get up and go do one of them. But if taking a break results in something tangible, then I feel accomplished rather than guilty for wasting time. (This is not to suggest that taking a doing nothing break is by any means a waste of time. They are very necessary and I wish I was a bit less neurotic so I could take better advantage of them). Productive breaks for me usually mean baking something, but you could try anything that's enjoyable to you but also keeps your mind focused on accomplishing the specific task at hand: knitting, painting, even completing a crossword puzzle. If you're my dad, rearranging your CD case or cleaning out the crawlspace might sound extremely refreshing to you. If you're me, that sounds insurmountably stressful when you're already feeling agitated. As I said before, don't force yourself to do something you "think" should make you feel better. Just do what actually will! This way, you can immerse yourself in whatever you are doing and thus have a break from feeling down.
3) Plan Yourself A Party
If you read my last blog post, you might remember that I said I think everyone should throw parties for themselves more often. You don't have to have a literal party, but when the going gets tough and you're not sure how you can make it through, give yourself something to look forward to. The reality is, not every bad day comes with the luxury of time to dedicate to feeling better. If you find yourself having one of these days, figure out when you will have some down time and decide on a reward for yourself. Maybe your stuck in the middle of finals week or have a really big presentation at work. You could plan that you'll rent the film you've been dying to see and buy your favorite snacks for a movie night as soon as finals are over, or invite your friends out for dinner to celebrate surviving your presentation. I find that having something to look forward to, some motivation to get through the rough periods, helps me feel a lot less stuck.
4) Put on Pajamas
I almost never wear pajamas while it's light outside. I don't know why, but for some reason the idea of putting my pajamas on before the sun has set just feels very unnatural to me. It's not that I'm opposed to it, it's just the thought to change into my pajamas early never even occurs to me. In fact, it happens probably more often than it should that I'm just about to go to bed when I realize I'm still wearing my clothes. But yesterday when I was in a really sour mood, I passed by my pajama drawer and thought boy, wearing pajamas would be really nice. So I pulled out my favorite pair (which happen to be Christmas and Disney!) and put on pajamas before it was even 5 o'clock!
5) Do Something Kind
Once again, don't feel pressured to do this if it's not going to help, but for me, sometimes doing something kind gives me that instant gratification mood boost that I need. You don't have to do anything big, but little things that make someone else smile can make you feel good, too. Leave sticky notes next to everyone's place settings at the dinner table with a compliment, buy your roommate a bag of their favorite candy just because, call someone you haven't talked to in forever and let them know you're thinking of them. It might sound selfish, but making other people smile makes me feel like a better person, and that's a pretty fail-proof method of improving my mood!
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