The title of this post is a Friends reference, but I'm not sure if anyone will get it. I tend to have an oddly specific memory of lines from TV shows and movies, so sometimes I don't know if my references are recognizable or if they're just random lines that no one else would remember. But anyway, if you don't get the reference, or you're my dad and you don't watch Friends, there's an episode where Monica asks Phoebe if she has a plan and Phoebe responds, "I don't even have a pla--"
That's how I've been feeling lately. I always thought that by the time I reached senior year of college, I would know exactly what I was going to do with my life once I graduated.
The reality is, now that I am a senior in college, I don't even have a pla--.
Here's the thing, though: I've spent an immeasurable amount of time stressing that I don't know what I'm going to do after graduation, worrying that I'm going to leave L.A. with no direction and end up living on my parent's couch leeching off of them. That if I don't start right away down the path I want to be on for the rest of my life, then there is no hope for me.
It might sound like I'm being dramatic, but I truly feel that there is a common belief in society that everyone needs a plan in order to be successful. Everyone seems to be expected to face these questions, whether you're starting high school or entering retirement: What are your goals? Where do you see yourself in five years? When you're on your deathbed, what are you going to regret not doing? I have been contemplating this over the past week after one of my professors gave a long lecture about how you need to figure out where you want to be in ten years and then lay out exactly what you need to do to get there. He claimed that's the approach that's always worked for him. No offense, but I just have a hard time believing this is true.
It's not that I think goals and plans are inherently bad. Certainly, it's good to know what you hope to accomplish and consider how you might get there. And I am a huge planner, but in the short term. As much as I've often wanted to be able to plan out my future, the truth is that you just can't.
I was talking to my mom the other day about my lack of a pla--, and she brought up a point that I hadn't considered before, but that I think is absolutely essential for everyone to consider. She told me that she has no idea where she wants to be in five years, because she has no way of knowing what's going to happen over the next five years. That seems like a simple enough concept, but truly it was a major lightbulb moment for me. When I think back to five years ago, I was starting to plan for college and answering questions at nauseam about my visions for my future, and there was absolutely no way I would have guessed my life would be anything like it is today. Of course, there is the blaringly obvious example of a global pandemic that threw a wrench in everyone's predictions of the future, but there were several other positive things that came about over the last few years that were completely by chance.
Five years ago, I didn't even know what a podcast was. Five years ago, the idea of starting my own theatre company was something that I thought maybe I'd look into when I was married and had kids. Five years ago I had never seen the USC campus, I hadn't once entertained the idea of creating my own films, I had a Google Drive full of half-written play scripts but didn't even consider the possibility that one could turn into a real show. I could not have predicted so many of both the opportunities and the roadblocks that life threw at me, so having a plan really would have been a moot point.
I'm sure my Mom had a similar thought process. My parents bought HAL Sports, the event production company they own, when I was five years old. So five years prior, as two accountants with newborn twins and no ties to the running industry, there's no way they could have had any idea that the opportunity to own a race timing company was going to present itself.
All this is to say, I feel that there is too much value placed on having a plan for your life. Maybe my professor has achieved all of the 5-and-10-year goals he's set for himself. But has he missed out on other opportunities in the process? I don't know, but in my opinion there are only two roads that pressuring oneself to follow an exact plan can lead to: either you have blinders on and you say no to detours that could have unexpected potential, or you feel like a failure if you stray from your intended path. Maybe this isn't true for everyone, but for me, I think I'm okay with not even having a pla--. Instead, I'll keep working hard towards the things I want to do, but when life throws me curveballs, whether good, bad, or ugly, I'll be ready to take my best shot (Wow, a sports metaphor! I never make sports references. Who knows...maybe I'm on my way to being an athlete!)